Vomit and a Cheeseburger

Involuntarily, my mouth begins to water. I swallow, feel the lump in the back of my throat. And begin the mantra: don't puke don't puke don't puke. Aw hey, man, come on, does he look 18? I came all the way from London to see this show. Would you let us in for a twenty? How about a blowjob? He'll give you a blowjob if you let us in. What if I'm on the guest list? What about then? Hey, does anyone around here know where we can get fake ID? Queen Street? Fucking Queen Street? Anywhere in particular on Queen Street? Fucking christ. We are on the highway; there is no shoulder, no plastic bag, no hope. I curl up in the back seat, press a comforting hand firmly against my stomach. Don't puke don't puke don't puke. What's your favourite Bowie album? I don't know, man, I get tired of him after four songs, I can't listen to a whole record. Which version of China Girl do you like best? You think Iggy is over-rated? Seriously? I close my eyes. This doesn't help. Don't puke don't puke don't puke don't puke don't puke don't puke. How can you not know how to play euchre? How old are you, man? Three of spades leads, asshole. December 1969, no contest. Santa with her legs spread. These cards are distracting. Is it my lead? I am shaky, weak. Please just let me get some food in my belly to soak up the poison. Salt and grease, the antidote. Don't puke please don't puke. What am I? What am I doing? Hand. Hand. What is box? I'm sort of worried that I'm gonna get gang-banged in my sleep. Don't rape me, okay you guys? Naw, it's okay, I'm good here. Here is good. Here is good. Strangely, the urge to vomit passes. I feel a little better. Standing in line, suddenly, violently, my stomach bucks, heaves, I cup a hand to my mouth, feeling sort of silly (do I really think that I am going to somehow catch the vomit, contain it in my hands?), half-run to the bathroom, bang open the door to the wheelchair stall, lean over the toilet from the waist god there's nothing worse than puking in a McDonald's bathroom my nose runs my eyes water my stomach heaves wetly but there's nothing really in there just thick wet sticky sour strings of bile. When my body is finished, I rinse my mouth out at the sink, gargle, spit, rinse again, take small sips of water from my cupped hands. The cheeseburger is delicious.         

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